How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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