lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize