Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
