Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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