y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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