she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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