you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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