Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
