Buhtt sex?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
