woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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