you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
