Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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