Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
