We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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