Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
