Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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