Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
