I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
