I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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