just come out here and I will go home with you...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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