So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
