I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
