I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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