So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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