Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
