Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
