Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
