Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
