She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
