She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
