i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
