i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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