That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize