Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
