come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
