He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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