Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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