he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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