Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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