dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
