wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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