i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Two words: blizzard sex
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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