Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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