I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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