I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
