Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
