i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
