I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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