You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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