He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
