How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
