You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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