I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
