I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize