If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
