every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
