Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
