$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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