I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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