my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize