dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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