my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I am morally bankrupt
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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