Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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