You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
