I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
