do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
