I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
