Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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