she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
